i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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