can u get pink eye on your cock?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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