The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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