I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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