is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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