That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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