Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
