it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
