Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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