wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
