I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
