Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He shit in the fireplace
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
