I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
