You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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