Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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