Small penises have feelings too.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
