Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
