I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
