Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You've changed since you got that strap on
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
