considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
