hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Randomize
