We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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