Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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