when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
