I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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