does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
