also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i was born a porn star she said
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
