She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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