Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
