I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
