haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
