I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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