I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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