My sheets look like a crime scene.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
