dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
