Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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