guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
