I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
