Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
