I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
