she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
