he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Naked. naked and bneed help.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
