smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
porn star boner night. come get it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
