I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
