why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
