there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
