If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
