I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize