he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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