There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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