It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
