I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
