i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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