thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
