sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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