My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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