I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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